http://www.askmen.com/daily/blogs/family/
The blog we chose to present is from askmen.com and discusses different possible roles in a family. These blogs challenge traditional views society has on gender roles in relationships. They cover a variety of topics including women as "breadwinners," women in the kitchen, single men, the impact of kids, women proposing, and gay adoption. For example, the blog on women as "breadwinners" is about how men traditionally are found in the workplace and women are in the home. If men were to stay home and women were to work, would the relationship between fathers and their children improve?
The blog is authored by the askmen.com editors and is very unique because it consists of three men and four women. This group presents the topics in an unbiased way to stimulate discussion on the issue. We chose this blog because it relates to the course theme of the rhetoric of love in pop culture. It deals with stereotypes placed on families and the roles of men, women, children, and even pets. It is interesting to note each one of the blog posts poses a debatable and sometimes controversial topic.
Some questions to consider:
Which blog post presents the most controversial idea to the traditional family and why?
How do the specific stereotypes being challenged in these blogs affect members of non-traditional families/relationships?
Is it important to maintain traditional values and beliefs regarding the family or should society blur the lines and allow for non-traditional relationships?
Any specific posts which piqued your interest?
By: Matt Allen, Justin Smith, Katie Huston, Sicong Hua
I think that the most controversial idea to the traditional family concerns the rights of homosexual couples to be able adopt children. I think this is so controversial, because it is not considered the norm in most societies. We were not raised to think in this way. Many times when people are forced to see things that are different to their way of thinking, they shut down and refuse to look at the other end of the spectrum. Change tends to scare a lot of people. Just because something is different, does not mean it is bad. People have a hard time opening up their minds to new ideas once they have been set in their ways for so long. Why is it that society has such a tough time accepting homosexuals as couples and their right to raise children?
ReplyDeleteThe blog "Too Old For Kids?" really piqued my interest. It talks about if people can be too old to have kids. I think this is really interesting because it challenges the traditional view of family. One of the comments on the blog says that women 40 years and older contribute to 50% of the births in the UK. I think this statistic shows that times are changing. However, many people cannot shift from the traditional views they have of family. Older people have much more experience and can be just as good of parents as can a younger person. Older people can still provide a child with a fulfilling life. I think people need to stop discriminating by age and accept that times are changing.
ReplyDelete"Her Maiden Name"
ReplyDeleteShould women take their husband’s name? Should they be allowed to keep their maiden name? Is hyphenating two surnames appropriate?
Without a doubt women should take their husbands name. I see no reason why a woman who marries a man should keep their last name. I understand replacing your middle name with your old last name and see no problem with that. But to keep your last name as your own even after marrying someone is just odd. Personally, I see it as degrading and insulting to your husband.
This is a good topic and really deals with our class theme of love in pop culture because the love between family members is great, even if it is not a traditional family. One of the blog posts that i thought presents the most controveral idea of a traditional family and really got my interest would be "Gay Adoption" because not only is a gay relationship not traditional but many people find it an issue, espcially with adoption. The stereotypes are being challenged because these blogs talk about how women work and men stay home and older couples raising kids and usually one thinks of a family as men working and women staying home with kids with parents that are young. Society should start accepting non traditional families as traditional because a family is about love.
ReplyDeleteThe blog about woman proposing to men strikes many questions. I see no problem with woman proposing, for some men it may feel like its a step in taking over the relationship. But where is it to say that the man gets to choose when he is ready to get married and not the woman. If the woman feels obligated then there shouldn't be a problem. This does go against the traditional view on a man and woman's relationship.
ReplyDeleteI really like the theme of your blog and I think it is a very current and relevant topic especially to our class this quarter. The blog post on the website that sticks out the most to me is probably the first one on gay adoption. The stereotype being challenged is specifically the gender of the parents. Personally I do think that it is important to uphold traditional values and beliefs regarding the family. While I realize sometimes people of different genders and backgrounds can build a loving and functioning family, I do not feel that society should let go of the "traditional" family. The post that interests me most is Her Maiden Name. I think by a woman adopting her husband's name it shows her commitment to him and represents the "two become one" aspect of marriage. It seems to me that a woman who keeps her last name is showing that she still wants to be an independent and living as an individual. I don't mean that a married woman is not her own person, but changing her name is a literal way to symbolize the partnership that is crucial in marriage.
ReplyDelete*What do you guys think about "Are Kids Worth It"?
ReplyDeleteHaving obviously of been a kid myself, as everyone else has been, I found it kind of upsetting to think that a lot of parents think of us as more of a burden than a blessing. Of course it's true that kids change things in relationships...but don't you think that kids are more of a positive than a negative? I think that people should seriously consider whether or not to have kids, so that the people who find them more "tiring and expensive" than enjoyable and life-fulfilling don't have them so that their kids don't get the sense of being a burden to their parents...
The blog addresses a lot of different controversial issues that are becoming more and more relevant to today's pop culture. It seems there are just as many "non-traditional" families as there are "traditional" families in today's society. The issue of gay couples adopting children seems the most controversial to me in today's pop culture. Considering gay marriage is still an extremely heated debate across America, gay couples adopting seems even more controversial to me. I think that gay couples can raise children just as non-gay couples can raise children. I believe that gay couples are just as capable of being parents. I do not think that it is important to maintain traditional values and beliefs regarding the family. Love, support, and other important qualities in my opinion can be found in the "non-traditional" families as well as the "traditional" families.
ReplyDelete@Megan @alber.12
ReplyDeleteHey Jacob and Megan,
I think your comments on "Her Maiden Name" are both really thought-provoking and interesting. It seems like you're making similar arguments-- would you both agree? Or are you saying subtly different things?
Also, how might your comments relate to some of the issues we've been talking about (re: gender roles, women, family, etc) in class? How might the Cancian article relate?
Anyone else can feel free to pick up on these questions, as well.
Thanks for responding! This is an interesting thread.
The article “Women in the Kitchen?” is one article that stuck out to me. It deals with an old stereotype that men belong at work and women are expected to take care of things at home. I definitely feel that this stereotype belongs in the past. I feel that both men and women have the choice to decide rather they want a job in the work place or to work at home.
ReplyDeleteResponding to what Tamar said I defintly agree with him that this stereotype should be a thing of the past. Women and men should not be required to play certain "roles." In my high school a lot of the men would say to the women "go make me a sandwhich." They not only believed we should, but they also thought it was funny that we should have to. I personally believe there is not one right model to what works in a home. Each couple has different circumstances which will influence what's best for them. Women and men should be able to take on any role, or share any roles they wish to fulfill.
ReplyDeleteThe section of your blog choice that really sparked my interest was the article entitled, "Are KIds Worth It." I agree with a lot of the writers comments stating that kids are not for everyone. Not everyone is made to have or take care of kids, and that is perfectly fine. Raising and caring for a child is a huge commitment and very time consuming. If you and your partner choose to have kid, it should be a happy and non-regrettable decision. It really bothered me that many people in that blog posted that they had kids and regretted it from day one. You should not have kids if your going to feel like your missing out on life by having them. Your children are a part of you, and you should treat them better than anything else in your life. I just find it very disturbing that there are parents you actually regret ever bearing a child. This presented blog was very good though, and was a great source for recent an controversial issues.
ReplyDeleteConsider the 'Spanking= Child Abuse?' article. In my opinion spanking could be necessary at times because that is one of the only thing that children will react to. I remember as a kid, that there was nothing I was afraid of more than getting spanked. This article debates both sides of the argument and there are strong supporters for both siddes in the comments. What do you guys think. Is spanking child abuse?
ReplyDeleteGood topic, Justin...
ReplyDeleteI don't think that spanking is child abuse if it is done in a controlled and emotionally stable way. If you are spanking your child out of anger or frustration, then it could be considered child abuse. I agree though, my parents spanked me occasionally, and it was definitely not even close to abuse.
Comments from others?
-Were you guys spanked as kids?
-Do you think that it "emotionally scarred you, or was it acceptable?
- If you have kids, will you use spanking as a means for punishment? Or turn to more "humane" forms of punishment?
The post “Too Old For Kids appears controversial: this old woman definitely has the right to have a baby yet there do exist biological limitations and drawbacks of having a baby, both to the woman herself and to the baby. I agree that people can have babies at any time in most countries yet it is really hard for a woman to bear the child naturally when she is almost 60 and the child will be faced with series of problems when he/she grows up. Say the woman gives birth her child at the age of 59. She would be 70 already when her child is still in elementary school. When her child graduates from high school, she is probably 77. The economic support to the child might be a huge problem at that time and how this lady is going to be taken care of might also be a big problem.
ReplyDeleteSo it seems plausible to have a baby at around 28 years old, due to biological factors and sometimes social reasons.
@SAM REN
ReplyDeleteI agree with your analysis of the limitations and biological restrictions regarding child birth and care at an old age. Additionally, I would like to add the fact that the average life expectancy is around 70-75 years old. This would mean the mother giving birth at 59 would likely die around the time the child is in high school. Who would look after the child and support him or her? What would be the emotional effects of losing a parent that young?
I believe it is still the right of a woman to decide to have kids when they want. However, some thought should be put into whether or not they are actually fit and able to adequately support the child until they are at least 18 years old.
@Meg Reid
ReplyDeleteI think that we are making the same argument. I don't know that I would be quite as strong to say it is "degrading and insulting" but I definitely do no think it is respectful or appropriate. I agree that it is acceptable to add their married name to their maiden name, especially if they had a professional reputation as a single woman.
TO; Monika
ReplyDeleteOne think to know about homosexuality is that our society got use to the traditional family, as husband and wife,having family together and living in a big house (with a pet also around),as defined as the American dream. Our society is afraid that homosexuals might change that tradition family of the America dream. In other words, man being with man (or woman being woman) and adopting kids to make a family. So, that might be why that homosexuality is not being accepted in America.
The second big reason is the fact that different religions that is out there in this world today, seems to be having in common on homosexuality. Meaning they believe that homosexuality is not the reason that god have create us for and also believe that they're going against the god's demands.
I agree! It almost seems selfish in a way because the child will be left with not only a lack of financial support...but a lack of loving parents if they begin to lose their mental or physical health, or even pass away.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAn intriguing aspect of the blog interface I noticed was how short each post was. It made it seem like it just played the purpose of a topic creator, or a conversation starter. The authors, the askmen.com editors, don't seem like they try to get their opinion across; they're not trying to persuade the blog readers of anything. It seems as if they're just curious to hear their readers' opinions on current and relevant topics. However, I think that a lot of the comments responding to the topic are severely mislead and misinformed. If a link were provided to trusted and legitimate background about the topic, the readers could become much more knowledgeable and subsequently be able to make better comments, enhancing discussion as well.
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading many articles from this blog I found them extremely interesting, in particular though "Women in the Kitchen" caught my eye. As I was thinking about this article it seems there has been a shift from the traditional ideas that men are the ones who should always bring home the money and the women should stay at home and tend to the family, to women being the main providers. For instance the fact that we had a female running for president last election shows that we are making big changes in our country and the stereotypes that are found. Do you think that if there were to be a female president that would completely change the stereotypes of women? Or would it just be another step but things would generally still be the same?
ReplyDeleteI believe that there are a lot of things that make up a "traditional family" that should stay the same like having two parents who are still togethor, but I also feel that some lines could be blurred. I think that there is nothing wrong with both parents working and that a women's job is not always in the household. The blog about homosexual people adopting was interesting to me also. I think that it is a good thing for homeosexuals to adopt because they are just as good parents as heterosexual people and they are still giving orphaned children a loving home.
ReplyDeleteSicong Hua
ReplyDeleteTHe most interesting blog for me is "Too Old For Kids?" I think it's a good topic for everyone of us and we all have different feeling for it: the generation gap. Most of those blogs challenges our traditional view of society and families. They are trying to convey a new concepts about the rhetoric of love for us.In my opinion, I think we still need to keep some important views of traditional ways of love and give enough respect for it as those traditional views have experienced a long time and many things proved that they are correct, most people have accepted it.
I think that non-traditional families aren't perfect, but often a great and necessary alternative to orphanhood. Since children growing up with, for example, elderly parents or two parents of the same gender may have some confusion issues and find themselves badly teased by other children, the non-traditional family can have some drawbacks. However, even if nonideal, the notion that just because of somewhat arbitrary cultural norms, a child wouldn't be better off with some family stability, love, and security, not to mention financial support than in an orphanage without any family or financial support is ludicrous and harmful.
ReplyDelete